No longer a Roller Derby virgin, but not yet a whore
Sunday! Adelaide! The Royal Adelaide Showgrounds! Roller derby grand final bout!
My good wife humors my sometimes strange, odd-ball interests. I think you gotta try different things. My wife isn't so sure.
A few years ago the whole family bundled off to the Adelaide Entertainment Centre to fulfill my Fathers' Day request to see Monster Truck Madness. I'd never been to one and thought it would be fun. It was fun for about the first 20 minutes at the most, but after that we all thought for how long can we put-up with motorcycles going around and around and around a dirt track, jumping high into the air again, and again and again and again. And the attraction of utes, pickups and station wagons sporting huge tyres and bodies jacked way off the ground with absolutely no mufflers or sound reduction was just lost on us. Regulars to Monster Truck Madness brought their own ear muffs. Smart people. We made do with the free foam ear plugs that the AEC provided, provided possibly to pre-emptively nip in the bud any potential ear damage law suits.
I can't remember whether it was one of the kids, or my wife, or both, who too soon after the show started asked, repeatedly, 'can we go now?! Please?' It dawned on me that it might have been a good parenting strategy keeping the kids there - it might provide a mental inoculation for them against any future relationships with young men whose life interests are limited to cubic inches and octane ratings. Time will tell whether that's correct or not.
Now just saying, 'Monster Truck Madness', in our household has become verbal shorthand representing a tirade of concentrated abuse commenting on Dad's absurd choices of entertainment that are inflicted on the family. Saying it is always accompanied with eyebrow raising, sighs and head shakes. But hey, we did it. Never again, but we did it.
So this past weekend in Adelaide there was an event of major significance for an elite bunch of amateur female athletes - the Adelaide Roller Derby Grand Final. And yes, it was the result of yet another Fathers' Day request that attend. It was a double-header event, the first event was to determine 3rd and 4th places, and the second bout was for 1st and 2nd place in the league.
Our kids aren't dumb though. Certainly too darned smart these days. I didn't have any success in convincing them to join us for another cultural exploration this time at the Roller Derby. Although the Monster Truck Madness event happened several years ago that memory seems to have been burnt-into in their brains, so any new and out-of-the-ordinary event that Dad proposes is immediately viewed by them with suspicion and caution.
Back in the Dark Ages when I was growing-up in Seattle I sometimes saw on our black and white TV a crazy, fast-paced 'sport' where men skated around and around an oval, banked track, really crashing into each other. Sometimes skaters would be bumped off the track and over the rail. The pace of the sport, the 'rock'em - sock'em' action, the graininess of the black and white TV, it was strangely irresistable, and it was called 'Roller Derby'.
Instead of our loving kids joining us for the Roller Derby our friends, who I'll call Ron and Katherine, came meeting us at the Showgrounds. The doors were to open at 2pm and I had already bought tickets on-line, so we agreed to meet for what I expected would be a quick and efficient trip into the venue. As we walked from the carpark we did wonder if people ahead of us knew something that we didn't, as lots of them carried deckchairs with them. But I kept saying that more people were without chairs than with them so we'd be okay.
We turned the corner to see a long, snaking line of Roller Derby fans queuing to get into the hall. Quite a long line in fact, but they were very well-behaved and patient fans. At different points along the queue there were Derby girls on skates and in uniform - I'm not sure if 'girls' the correct term; are they called Derby 'players'? Help me out here - answering questions and guiding people to the entrance.
Kudos to all the players and how well they organised everything. They did a great job.
But in the queue there were lots more people carrying deck chairs. Humh. More about that later.
It took about 20 minutes to get inside the venue through the snaking queue. Bags were being inspected at the door to prevent booze and other prohibited items from being brought into the hall and that slowed-up the process somewhat. But it was a lovely Adelaide spring afternoon and the sun was shining so it was not unpleasant queuing outside to get into to hall.
For those not familiar with the roller derby competition in Adelaide, it isn't played on a banked track as it was on TV, but on an oval marked-out by tape on the floor.
The rules seem pretty simple and the MC explained things well: two teams compete at a time on the rink; each team has 4 skaters who are the 'blockers' and together the 8 skaters form the 'pack'. Positioned a little way behind the pack is another skater from each team, wearing a lycra cap with a white star on it over their helmet. These two are the 'jammers' and their objective is to skate through the pack and lap all the other skaters. Each skater that the jammer passes counts as a point for the jammer's team. The game consists of two 30 minutes halves but there's another clock for the the 'jam' period, which was 90 seconds long per jam for this bout. The 'jam' is when teams are able to score points. The 'Lead Jammer' can call-off the jam at any time to prevent the other team from scoring points.
While the rules seem pretty simple, they are actually very detailed. I didn't understand how the penalties worked but that didn't distract from the watching. I don't know if the Adelaide competition uses them but you can see the rules of the Womens Flat Track Derby Association at http://wftda.com. The amount of official whistles being blown during a jam seemed to rival that of netball, which is another sport that I don't fully appreciate the subtleties of. The number of times the referees blew their whistles is significant, but I don't want to spoil your experience by telling you what they mean - you'll have to see for yourself.
The chairs that lots of people were carrying... All those chairs. Once inside the hall we saw why Derby veterans were bringing their chairs. 'Cuz the hall didn't have much in the way of formal seating, that's why! There were maybe 4 small grandstands inside that seated about one tenth of the whole audience. The rest had to stand or sit on the chairs that they had brought with them.
The event was sold-out and people who didn't already have tickets were being turned away, and if you were late getting-in, as we were, it was basically standing-room only. But considering that the tickets only cost $13 then I don't think there's much room to complain about the facilities.
Inside the hall was a most wonderful collection of humans. Yes, I'll say it now and be done with it, there was a large and visible lesbian representation, there was an impressive collection of tattoo art on lots of people, but it was also quite the family event. Lots of young kids were there with their parents, no matter what orientation their family consisted of. Everyone was having a good time just being themselves. The event had broad audience appeal.
Everyone except my dear wife and Katherine. They hated it! In fact, they bailed-out before the first bout finished, heading home while Ron and I stayed-on. When asked how much she enjoyed it on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the best and 1 being the worst, Katherine said it rated a '2'. But for comparison, a '1' for her was having been in a hurricane! Oh dear. Better cancel some of those season tickets.
But Ron and I thought it was great fun. You had to let the experience wash over you and just go with it. We did and we enjoyed it. We got into the spirit and were cheering loudly and shouting encouragement to the teams, and groaning at crashes and heavy body checks.
I actually 'know' one skater from the Road Town Rollers, one of the teams who were in the grand final match; I tweeted @TrickseyBeltem before going that we'd be at the match. It was a buzz to see someone I 'knew' competing in the bout and Ron and I said a quick hello to her before they started the championship match. Probably the last thing she needed while trying to concentrate on the imminent match! But I know a star!
But congratulations to TrickseyBeltem and the Road Town Rollers for winning against a tough Wild Hearses team for the championship. Tricksey is an impressive jammer! She blasted through the packs. (I've probably just made every Derby player ROFL at my so inappropriate words. Sorry y'all, please forgive me for I'm just a out of shape old white guy but who had a good time on Sunday.) And for the record the Mile Die Club beat the Salty Dolls for 3rd place.
What did I enjoy about the Roller Derby? Lots! The skaters took their match seriously but seemed to have a lot fun as well. When Ron and I were standing by the RTR's team area after wishing TrickseyBeltem good luck, trying not to look too much like a couple of creepy old-guy stalkers, the skaters coming off the track were sweating heavily from giving it all out there. Their 'uniforms' were imaginative and just a wee bit slutty. There was lots of torn fishnet stockings worn, and over-the-top make-up. The skater names were humorous plays on words and all innuendo but representing the toughness of the sport. It is a very physical sport and we saw some impressive crashes on the track. Except for one time everyone quickly got back to their feet following the collisions and tumbles. One skater had to be escorted off the track after a fall and might have hurt an ankle or knee so we hope she recovers quickly.
I forgot to mention that there was an excellent rock and roll band playing before, between, and after the bouts. When the track was clear of skaters a group of quite talented rock and rollers danced for us all. At the back of the exhibition hall were a number of lovingly restored hot rods on display, with polite signs requesting people not to touch or climb on the cars.
The whole day was somewhat of a blast from the past and evoked nostalgic memories for me. It should have all been in black and white.
Ron and I agreed that the Roller Derby had the formula right for growing in popularity. A week ago there was an article in the Adelaide Advertiser's weekend magazine about roller derby, with several skaters in uniform on the front cover.
Would I go back to see another bout? Absolutely! It was good entertainment. But I think I would take a folding chair with me. And I do think one of my kids would actually be very good at it, but I dare not say that, do I. #kissofdeath!
 |
| Warm-up on the track |
A few years ago the whole family bundled off to the Adelaide Entertainment Centre to fulfill my Fathers' Day request to see Monster Truck Madness. I'd never been to one and thought it would be fun. It was fun for about the first 20 minutes at the most, but after that we all thought for how long can we put-up with motorcycles going around and around and around a dirt track, jumping high into the air again, and again and again and again. And the attraction of utes, pickups and station wagons sporting huge tyres and bodies jacked way off the ground with absolutely no mufflers or sound reduction was just lost on us. Regulars to Monster Truck Madness brought their own ear muffs. Smart people. We made do with the free foam ear plugs that the AEC provided, provided possibly to pre-emptively nip in the bud any potential ear damage law suits.
I can't remember whether it was one of the kids, or my wife, or both, who too soon after the show started asked, repeatedly, 'can we go now?! Please?' It dawned on me that it might have been a good parenting strategy keeping the kids there - it might provide a mental inoculation for them against any future relationships with young men whose life interests are limited to cubic inches and octane ratings. Time will tell whether that's correct or not.
Now just saying, 'Monster Truck Madness', in our household has become verbal shorthand representing a tirade of concentrated abuse commenting on Dad's absurd choices of entertainment that are inflicted on the family. Saying it is always accompanied with eyebrow raising, sighs and head shakes. But hey, we did it. Never again, but we did it.
So this past weekend in Adelaide there was an event of major significance for an elite bunch of amateur female athletes - the Adelaide Roller Derby Grand Final. And yes, it was the result of yet another Fathers' Day request that attend. It was a double-header event, the first event was to determine 3rd and 4th places, and the second bout was for 1st and 2nd place in the league.
Our kids aren't dumb though. Certainly too darned smart these days. I didn't have any success in convincing them to join us for another cultural exploration this time at the Roller Derby. Although the Monster Truck Madness event happened several years ago that memory seems to have been burnt-into in their brains, so any new and out-of-the-ordinary event that Dad proposes is immediately viewed by them with suspicion and caution.
Back in the Dark Ages when I was growing-up in Seattle I sometimes saw on our black and white TV a crazy, fast-paced 'sport' where men skated around and around an oval, banked track, really crashing into each other. Sometimes skaters would be bumped off the track and over the rail. The pace of the sport, the 'rock'em - sock'em' action, the graininess of the black and white TV, it was strangely irresistable, and it was called 'Roller Derby'.
Instead of our loving kids joining us for the Roller Derby our friends, who I'll call Ron and Katherine, came meeting us at the Showgrounds. The doors were to open at 2pm and I had already bought tickets on-line, so we agreed to meet for what I expected would be a quick and efficient trip into the venue. As we walked from the carpark we did wonder if people ahead of us knew something that we didn't, as lots of them carried deckchairs with them. But I kept saying that more people were without chairs than with them so we'd be okay.
 |
| Patient crowd waiting to get in. |
We turned the corner to see a long, snaking line of Roller Derby fans queuing to get into the hall. Quite a long line in fact, but they were very well-behaved and patient fans. At different points along the queue there were Derby girls on skates and in uniform - I'm not sure if 'girls' the correct term; are they called Derby 'players'? Help me out here - answering questions and guiding people to the entrance.
 |
| A Wild Hearses' skater |
But in the queue there were lots more people carrying deck chairs. Humh. More about that later.
It took about 20 minutes to get inside the venue through the snaking queue. Bags were being inspected at the door to prevent booze and other prohibited items from being brought into the hall and that slowed-up the process somewhat. But it was a lovely Adelaide spring afternoon and the sun was shining so it was not unpleasant queuing outside to get into to hall.
For those not familiar with the roller derby competition in Adelaide, it isn't played on a banked track as it was on TV, but on an oval marked-out by tape on the floor.
The rules seem pretty simple and the MC explained things well: two teams compete at a time on the rink; each team has 4 skaters who are the 'blockers' and together the 8 skaters form the 'pack'. Positioned a little way behind the pack is another skater from each team, wearing a lycra cap with a white star on it over their helmet. These two are the 'jammers' and their objective is to skate through the pack and lap all the other skaters. Each skater that the jammer passes counts as a point for the jammer's team. The game consists of two 30 minutes halves but there's another clock for the the 'jam' period, which was 90 seconds long per jam for this bout. The 'jam' is when teams are able to score points. The 'Lead Jammer' can call-off the jam at any time to prevent the other team from scoring points.
While the rules seem pretty simple, they are actually very detailed. I didn't understand how the penalties worked but that didn't distract from the watching. I don't know if the Adelaide competition uses them but you can see the rules of the Womens Flat Track Derby Association at http://wftda.com. The amount of official whistles being blown during a jam seemed to rival that of netball, which is another sport that I don't fully appreciate the subtleties of. The number of times the referees blew their whistles is significant, but I don't want to spoil your experience by telling you what they mean - you'll have to see for yourself.
The chairs that lots of people were carrying... All those chairs. Once inside the hall we saw why Derby veterans were bringing their chairs. 'Cuz the hall didn't have much in the way of formal seating, that's why! There were maybe 4 small grandstands inside that seated about one tenth of the whole audience. The rest had to stand or sit on the chairs that they had brought with them.
 |
| Lots of people, notice all the brought seats... |
The event was sold-out and people who didn't already have tickets were being turned away, and if you were late getting-in, as we were, it was basically standing-room only. But considering that the tickets only cost $13 then I don't think there's much room to complain about the facilities.
Inside the hall was a most wonderful collection of humans. Yes, I'll say it now and be done with it, there was a large and visible lesbian representation, there was an impressive collection of tattoo art on lots of people, but it was also quite the family event. Lots of young kids were there with their parents, no matter what orientation their family consisted of. Everyone was having a good time just being themselves. The event had broad audience appeal.
Everyone except my dear wife and Katherine. They hated it! In fact, they bailed-out before the first bout finished, heading home while Ron and I stayed-on. When asked how much she enjoyed it on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the best and 1 being the worst, Katherine said it rated a '2'. But for comparison, a '1' for her was having been in a hurricane! Oh dear. Better cancel some of those season tickets.
But Ron and I thought it was great fun. You had to let the experience wash over you and just go with it. We did and we enjoyed it. We got into the spirit and were cheering loudly and shouting encouragement to the teams, and groaning at crashes and heavy body checks.
I actually 'know' one skater from the Road Town Rollers, one of the teams who were in the grand final match; I tweeted @TrickseyBeltem before going that we'd be at the match. It was a buzz to see someone I 'knew' competing in the bout and Ron and I said a quick hello to her before they started the championship match. Probably the last thing she needed while trying to concentrate on the imminent match! But I know a star!
 |
| The Road Train Rollers from their pits |
But congratulations to TrickseyBeltem and the Road Town Rollers for winning against a tough Wild Hearses team for the championship. Tricksey is an impressive jammer! She blasted through the packs. (I've probably just made every Derby player ROFL at my so inappropriate words. Sorry y'all, please forgive me for I'm just a out of shape old white guy but who had a good time on Sunday.) And for the record the Mile Die Club beat the Salty Dolls for 3rd place.
 |
| Fearsome Rollers buzzing with an-tici-Pation! |
I forgot to mention that there was an excellent rock and roll band playing before, between, and after the bouts. When the track was clear of skaters a group of quite talented rock and rollers danced for us all. At the back of the exhibition hall were a number of lovingly restored hot rods on display, with polite signs requesting people not to touch or climb on the cars.
 |
| The wonderful band |
Ron and I agreed that the Roller Derby had the formula right for growing in popularity. A week ago there was an article in the Adelaide Advertiser's weekend magazine about roller derby, with several skaters in uniform on the front cover.
Would I go back to see another bout? Absolutely! It was good entertainment. But I think I would take a folding chair with me. And I do think one of my kids would actually be very good at it, but I dare not say that, do I. #kissofdeath!
posted by Rick's Rambles at 4:10 pm
3 Comments:
Great blog!
Ok, some clarification:
-yes, you're right, we're called roller girls,
-yes, we do follow WFTDA rules,
-contrary to what you think, I was happy to see you and say hi, it's lovely to see people I know there:),
-My team is called the Road Train Rollers, not Road Town:),
-the phrase 'blasted through the pack'is wicked and I am very flattered you said it about me,
-you're right, the band WAS amazing! They are called Lucky 7 and the dancers are from The Swing Sesh, they do lessons too.
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I reckon your kids will be spewing they missed it when they hear their mates all say how awesome it was;)
I love rollerderbies! Eric and I saw a bout here in Seattle and had a blast. It was a very competitive bout and in the end the team behind won.
I can't believe Beth didn't enjoy it. Fast women with ripped stockings and sharp elbows, it doesn't get much better than that!
I second Tricksey's words, but I'm surprised the two women didn't like it! Only slightly more enjoyable than a hurricane? Wow, usually women love watching derby..
I think it's super that you had such a great time. It's always excellent to meet/find new fans who love a sport we all love so much. By the way, I think it's fine to refer to derby girls.
And to let you know, Cannon Wonderful's knee is just fine. She's a real trooper!
Champion Ruby (Interesting sidenote: Tricksey is my derby wife. That's another derby thing you should know - a lot of the skaters have 'wives' within the sport who are their sort of chosen partner whether it's for camaraderie, support, personality. It's an organic evolution kind of thing..)
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