Hurricane aftermath - rebuilding the gulf states

I haven't been following the news recently - has Halliburton been awarded the rebuilding contract yet?

Rick Clise

'Negroponte Flip'-ping Spam?

I've wondered for a while now why I just haven't got the message earlier, chucked-in my current job, and become wonderfully rich by sitting at home answering emails. 'Cuz according to some regular spam I get that's the promise - in fact, just yesterday I got a personalised email from my mate...'Wilton Bolden':

Hello Rosendo,

Would you like at least $1500.00 to $3500.00 per day just for returning phone calls? I do! If you have a telephone and can return calls you are fully qualified for this program.

And I just have to call a 1 800 number to get started! (I especially like Wilton's personal touch by addressing the email to my nickname, 'Rosendo.')

But get this, during the day I have the radio on in my workshop and recently there have been radio ads for spam workers. It goes something like this, 'If you have a working computer and want to earn lots of money by just answering emails and playing games on-line contact us at [blah-blah-blah]...'

Now is this the modern day Negroponte Flip? When radio starts carrying email spam ads?

What's the world coming to?

Rick Clise

'Learn how to burn a CD in 3.5 hours!'

Normally I think the WEA gives good value in its courses - adult education and all that. Beth and I did a Conversational Spanish for Beginners course when we thought we would be taking the family to Mexico for a vacation. We even did a coffee makers Barista course that ran over three weeks and was memorable for the teacher offending absolutely everyone in the course - but that was an exception.

But just how popular do they think this course, 'LEARN TO BURN A CD,' is going to be? Here's the blurb:

Confused about how to burn a CD. Don't know the difference between writable CDs and Re-Writable CDs, whether to buy 74 minute or 80 minute CDs, then this course is for you. Come to this short class to learn the techniques for burning a data CD, copying a CD, and some of the issues around re-writable CDs. The course will use Windows XP and Nero software. Basic computer skills assumed.

I might be missing something but who would even be able to talk about burning CDs for over three hours?

If you are really keen you only have to pay $69 for the three point five hours of education. Or you could ask any teenager and they would cover it in about 3 minutes and give you $64 change from your course fee.

Let me know how it goes!

Rick Clise

Wendy's 'Finger in the Chili' Case

You gotta love this one. A couple from Nevada pleaded guilty to putting a severed human finger into a bowl of chili from Wendy's restaurant in an attempt to extort money from the food chain.

The article on Yahoo! says Anna Ayala, 39, and Jaime Placencia, 43, claimed that they found a human finger (that was actually severed in an industrial accident from one of Placencia's co-workers) in chili that they were eating in a Wendy's San Jose restaurant.

Now didn't they think that claiming to find a human finger in the food was a little over the top? Not quite in the same league as finding a hair or an insect, is it? Didn't they think that someone would say, 'hold-on we haven't lost any fingers here'?

Well, apparently good investigative work soon discovered that no one at Wendy's or their suppliers of chili had lost a finger and that the finger wasn't cooked (I would have sent the chili back just for that reason alone - you don't know where that nasty old finger could have been, how many boogers it might have been fishing-out recently, did he/she wash after going to the toilet? And you have to be very, very careful eating raw or undercooked meat these days. Too great a risk.)

And what did Jaime do to get the finger, 'oh look, a finger. Might just slip this into my pocket. Never know when you might need a spare...'

Check-out wiki news for 'ayala finger' and there's an even more bizarre twist where apparently a woman owner of exotic animals in Nevada had part of her finger torn-off by a spotted leopard, and for a while it was thought that her detached digit was the fast food finger.

Lastly, my MSFT friends tell me that someone with Anne's surname might actually deserve the finger.

Truth is stranger than fiction. Ain't it so!

Rick Clise

Annoy your children - 1

Whenever we take the kids out for a big meal at the golden arches or the Colonel's I always take perverse delight when asked if we will be 'dining in?' by saying, 'yes, we will dine in tonight.'

Such a lovely attempt to raise the level of the dining experience - 'dining in.'

Don't know why, but the kids can't see the humor in it.

Rick Clise

Left hand welding gloves

My day job is making fine art, particularly fabricated, welded sculpture. I use TIG for fine work, but mainly use MIG for the structural and general welding. At the higher settings on the MIG machine it generates a lot of heat when welding. I found that I generally wear-out my left glove faster than the right glove. Apparently this is pretty common - maybe most welders are right handed and they hold the torch in that hand, and guide the weld with the left hand. So the left glove gets hotter and catches more spatter than the right glove.

So I went to my friendly welding supply store and found that you can buy just left hand welding gloves if you want. But get this, they only sell them in pairs! Go figure that one!

Rick Clise

Great Marketing Ideas - part 2

Beth told me about a friend who works as a senior manager in an abattoir. (Lots of material in that alone!)

Apparently, after the boners strip all the meat that they can from the carcasses the bones go into a machine that flays-off the tiny bits of remaining meat. But in the process the machine chips off little bits of bone as well. This meat used to be used for making sausages. But the relevant authorities found that there was too much 'non-meat' in the sausage mix due to the bone chips so they said that this meat product couldn't be called 'sausage' anymore.

The meat industry asked the authorities what it could be called if they couldn't sell it as sausages and after a fair bit of thought the authorities said that they could be called 'offal tubes.' Well, doesn't that get your mouth watering? Pop a few of those on the barbecue and the lads will be chucking them down. Oh, the authorities also said it could be sold as pet food without a problem.

Kinda catchy isn't it. 'Offal tubes.' I reckon my dog would salivate over that one, but remember what else he eats! Not too discerning.

Well, the food producers thought that 'offal tubes' might not really catch-on with the sausage market so they changed the name to something without any reference to sausage in it. (Fairly accurate when you think about it.)

And, apparently this wonderfully creative product is selling very well.

Bon appetit!

Rick Clise